Undying Urge

Change in me is happening. The speed is uncertain but it is evident that it is happening. Sometimes it is seen from my behaviour and sometimes not, sometimes even I am not aware of it but deep inside me something is stirring and the change is happening. I am highly confused, and more confused about the confusion I am confused of. I know things but I am falling short to explain them, there is always ‘what if’ fear with me that is difficult for me to overcome. What if I go wrong, what if I am unable to explain what I understand, what if someone will come to know that I am losing it, what if and what if. Many times when I am surrounded by people I feel aloof, incomplete, insecure, I feel like hiding myself wishing that I was not here or anywhere else ever. Hiding is not a solution but it always comes to my aid. There is a longing in me to sort things out, to stop bothering and finally start what I always think of, to prove myself and to prove beyond expectations. Every night before drifting into sleep I promise myself that tomorrow is the day when I shall make a mark somewhere; somewhere so sharp that it becomes my character and identity. It is my undying urge for long, but I am confident that I shall fulfil it before the change happening in me overcomes the impulse. 

Butterflies in Stomach

The countdown for the big day has begun and I am nervous, no reason but plainly nervous. Everything is in a gust and so is my heart. Just the thought that I am getting married makes the hairs rise on my neck. My heart, was in search for an impeccable wedding, but now I feel less to explain as everything is so new to me, its unsteady, roaming, confused, passionate, calm and jerky and many more things are happening but I can’t explain, concentrating on reducing weight whilst having all the delicacies down the belly, not having any track of time between all the preparations, and endless shopping, no matter how much you have its always less, but you bet I am enjoying every bit of it. I guess these little random things make this time all more seamless. I am so thrilled that I see every other person getting engaged or married this season, and also I see happiness in everyone’s eyes and I feel proud that she is the reason behind their blissful eyes.

You ask me and I shall admit; it feels heaven. Small chats in overnight long calls and still not willing to hang up, and waking up wearing a smile, while folks yelling in the ears. Suddenly having a special liking towards her favourite food or colour or movie or whatever silly and idiotic her fancies may be.

Getting to know a new family, and preparing for the whole new chapter of life. Things are happening so fast around that there is virtually no time to see time passing by. Beautiful isn’t it, you feel happy, well just happier, and you don’t have to find a reason for being so, your smile is same but people often find new meanings behind it. Well I have an impression that she is beside me helping me to write this new chapter, where I see my future

with her…

Do Pyale

Dekhe mele is duniya ke, tarah tarah ke rang nirale

Kam mein uljha behta rehta jaise nadi koi bin kinare

Akela pada is daud mein ab mujhe puchne wala koi nahi

Samne mere hai do pyale saath pine wala koi nahi

 

Mil ke kitne pathar pairo ke niche rond diye

Tark ko haqueqat mein badal kitno ko piche chod diye

Ab jab mud ke piche dekhu to dur dur tak koi nahi

Samne mere hai do pyale saath pine wala koi nahi

 

Nayan matakka matar gashti khup kiye yaaron ke sang

Phir paise kamane ki hod mein badal gaye mere bhi rang

Unki hasi khalti hai aaj jinke saath ab mera koi thikana nahi

Samne mere hai do pyale saath pine wala koi nahi

 

Thak kar chur chur hogaye mere ab haath pair

Phir bhi tas se mas na hua gaya nahi mere dil ka bair

Aram karna jab chahta hu to ab bistar lagane wala koi nahi

Samne mere hai do pyale saath pine wala koi nahi

 

Har marz ki ek dawa bas daru ke sahare chal raha hu

Nashe ki aad le kar khud hi ka sahara ban raha hu

Samne rakhe do pyale bhi ab sukh gaye

Duniya ko jitney ki chah mein hum tanha ho ke reh gaye

All about Filling the Blanks

It takes not much time to realise that we are not the ones who make decisions over here always. Major we are the puppets, the puppets whose strings are held by someone who in turn is again a puppet. None to master all. Even the richest has to depend upon others for his richness to rise. Dependency is the prime requirement of us humans, and believe me no one calls the shots here, I mean absolutely no one, its just the perception from where we are standing. The beauty of this place called world is that its spherical and that it works in same way. We all are tied in the definite spots to complete this vicious sphere. The circle has to complete. We sometimes make mistake to see that we are the rule makers of this place so the next time we feel that way, just look around we can see fingers holding the ends of the strings tied around our neck. When Shakespeare said All the World's a Stage, he knew better then, that if we do not perform better there is always a replacement handy. So its better we realize it sooner that we are here to just fill in the blanks and nothing else and if we do not perform what we are supposed to, less are our chances to survive peacefully.

Engaged Suddenly

I have waited for more than 2 decades for now,
And one fine morning suddenly she was there.
That very moment was beyond imagination,
And she had beauty with none to compare...
Her face was so lit, it glowed my heart,
Instantly there was a click,
And i knew we would never be apart...
Some part in me wanted to hide myself, coz the princess had the charm to kill through sight,
Her fishy eyes made a place in my heart, and suddenly i knew she was Mrs. Right...
Her lips wore smile like few petals of rose,
She was a goddess in a human pose...
I blinked a thousand times to convince my eyes,
Was i really in the moment which was beyond any prize...
Her voice was exciting and soothing all at same,
That very awe made me forget even my own name...
Suddenly my heart was racing a race,
And there was no medium to lower its pace...
I was then honoured when she accepted my proposal,
Suddenly it was time of us to live happily ever after...

A bit of it

A moment of silence to acknowledge the truth, to search for the peace and to get one with our own self

A fill of water to quench the thirst, to save the foliage and to recreate the world.

An instance of failure to collapse, to get up, and to get set again

A long breath to be alive, to feel the essence and to consume the environment

A pat on the back to inspire, to help find spirit and to bring out the best

A hand of support to unite, to help and to charity

A regular prayer to feel the Supreme, to get enlightened and to get blessed

A carton of courage to fight for right, to protect and to survive

A ray of hope to endure, to see tomorrow and to make it better than today

A spark of light to shoo the darkness, to widen the gaze and to look beyond

A wave of smile to get over anger, to make friends and to spread the happiness


A cushion of shoulder to linger in compassion, to get over the grief and to dwell in the warmth


A piece of knowledge to understand, to deliver and to collectively prosper

A blink of nap to dream, to fantasize and to create our own world

A nip of ink to write, to write and to write our hearts out

A bit of all of it just to live and enjoy every bit of it